Bring Back The Vamp

Bollywood is ready to refurbish retro with Once Upon a Time in Mumbai. There’s something strangely captivating about retro, especially when you hope to catch a cabaret on screen once again. Last time around Kareena tried to emulate Helen it fell flat. This time Gauhar Khan will try to shake her booty like Helen did. But really, it’s high time we had a peppier Bollywood and brought back the bad girls on screen that seduce, titillate and run away with other woman’s husbands. Oh wait, is that the heroine now, you say? Naah, they can’t hold a candle to the Helens, Bindus, Aruna Iranis or Lalita Pawars. They are just wannabe avant-garde actresses – too darn boring.

These were times when mainstream women actors didn’t dare to be provocative or unconventional. But Helen did. She was so good at it that she stole the show from many big names in her films and is still referred to as the best cabaret dancer – ever. She was 40+ when she danced to Ye Mera dil pyar ka deewanai in Don at a time when the younger actresses were just testing the water to move to daring. The song remains iconic till date. At half her age, Kareena looked like a stripped down version without the fire.

Check out these rare photos of Helen on the Twitsnaps link.

1. 
   1mAp http://twitsnaps.com/1019803 he cabaret queen of Bollywood Helen was known for playing vamps and raunchy item numbers. During the 50s, fi… 07 Jul 2010 from twitsnaps

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This weekend, largely to get the taste of football out of my mouth, I watched Kati Patang. Yes that 70s one, produced and directed by Shakti Samanta, his second with Rajesh Khanna in the lead after the blockbuster Aradhana.

Can you ever forget Bindu playing Shabnam, lover to Bollywood’s go-to villain at the time, Prem Chopra. The slinky number, Mera Naam Shabnam, is quite easily the highlight of the film. And this was just the beginning for her. She was enthralling in Imtihaan as a seductress. Bindu took unconventionality to a new high playing a nymphomaniac in Hawas in 1974. It earned her a Filmfare Nomination for the Best Supporting Actress. In 2010, Hawas has nothing to offer. I would relegate it to a sleazy film with regressive portrayals of women, though the music by Usha Khanna and the 70s psychedelic funk is still fun. What made Bindu act in Hawas I don’t know- but as Kamini Singh with her uncontrollable urges- Hawas was Bindu’s film.

Aruna Irani, Padma Khanna, Silk Smitha, Prema Narayan, Kalpana Iyer … these actors were largely stereotyped and objectified, hardly ever given their due. Then somewhere the vamp metamorphosed to the item girl. In the 80s, the song Ek do teen from Tezaab was added to the film as an afterthought. The song propelled its lead female actor, Madhuri Dixit to super-stardom and industry insiders believe it’s what started the item number trend.  So the vamp became the ‘item’ only now, the item is the lead actor herself.

So Priyanka Chopra unabashedly seduced and trapped Akshay Kumar in Aitraz, but hasn’t been seen in a similar role since. Kajol, never one to stick to the tried and tested, experimented with a negative role in Gupt.

The lead female actor is now kitschy, lacking character with bits of negativity and sexuality added. Aishwarya’s character in Raavan is hot for Abhishek’s Beera. So there’s lots of creamy skin show but who is she? Not out-an-out seductive, but flimsy and unbelievable.

In Once Upon… Gauhar Khan will enact a Helen-like performance, shaking to Parda.  The song has references to Helen’s chartbuster tracks like Duniya Mein Logon Ko (Apna Desh) and  Piya Tu Ab To Aaja (Caravan).

It’s a tall order but I hope she does a somewhat decent job of it and remind movie makers that the vamp is needs to come back. Just give her a make over.

PS: Helen will be seen again (and yes she will dance) on screen in Sanjay Sharma’s Donno Y…Na Jaane Kyo. The film will release next month. Zeenat makes an appearance too and in the true style of these unconventional ladies, Donno Y…is supposed to be India’s answer to Brokeback Mountain. Yes, Bollywood’s first ‘serious’ gay flick.

5 Movies That Will Make You Cry

I don’t know about you, but I am a huge “sobber” at the movies. So much so that, because I feel so embarrassed by my (spontaneous) behaviour, if I get an inkling that a particular movie is going to be teary, I altogether skip watching the movie in a public place.

Check out this other self-confessed “cryer” and her story: Confession Corner: Crying at the Movies

Okay, so we have established the fact that I am an accomplished weeper. Give me anything; a happy ending, a sad ending, a good book, God’s beautiful world, a hug from dad, or even a rainy day; all these could make tears well up in the corner of my eyes. The funny thing is I know some people who weep at the movies, but are rather stoic once they emerge out of the theatre and into their daily lives. Wonder why that happens?

While doing a bit of reading for this post, I came across this column about why people cry at the movies. The author mentions three reasons why people who are seemingly emotionless suddenly become crybabies (literally).

1. Human Drama Unfolds Before our Eyes
2. Emotional Magic of the Movie Musical Score
3. Cinematography Enhances Experience

Read the rest of the post, here: Cinema Therapy – How Movies Stir Up Emotions

But, I am not interested in the hows and whys of crying at the movies. I am here to tell you about 5 classic films that will surely make you reach for your tissue box. Take a look.

• Masoom 1983

I don’t have to talk about the plot or history of the film. The film in its entirety, the loving marriage, the unfaithfulness, the illegitimate son, the step-mother, all are perfect ingredients for a massive tear-jerker, and I was not spared. Watch the movie and know why.

• Marley and Me 2008

This film is what inspired me to write this post in the first place. As it ran yesterday on Star Movies, I could not help but shedding a tear or two (even after an embarrassing crying session at the theatre where I watched it for the first time). There is just something about having a pet that makes a movie all the more teary; the next couple of suggestions will tell you more.

• Fox and the Hound 1981

This is Walt Disney’s classic offering of an unlikely friendship between adversaries. A baby fox and hound grow up together not knowing that they are supposed to be enemies. Does friendship overcome all? Watch, cry a little and find out.

• Free Willy 1993

I remember watching this film when it was released worldwide. The touching story of a boy and a killer whale and especially its release back into the wild is just beautiful, one of my all-time favourites. Don’t miss the scene where Willy the killer whale jumps high over the boy into the open ocean, and finds its family again.

• Taare Zameen Par 2007

I coaxed some of my friends (in different cities) to watch it before I did, because I was scared. And all of them warned me to ‘take a tissue box’. As you can well imagine, I didn’t want to embarrass myself in the theatre again (So DVD it was!). Aamir Khan’s superb production and Darsheel Safary’s heart-warming tale of dyslexia, brought about a film that is all about the “sniff-factor”. I am warning you, tissues ARE required.

What are some of your favourite tearjerker movies? Don’t forget to leave your suggestions in the comments box.

Catch my earlier posts:

• Recap: Top 10 Songs of 2010
• Recap: Biggest Celebrity Splits of 2010
• 10 Favourite Movie Lines
• 10 Songs for a Romantic Afternoon
• 5 Movies A Girl Must Watch

Review: Milenge Milenge

Before I even begin to vent what an ordeal this movie watching experience was, I think it would be an excellent business proposition for multiplexes to have a pharmacy just next to the popcorn counter.

Coming to the film now, ‘Milenge Milenge’ looks like a film from the late ‘80s, ‘90s; given that it was five years in the making, the film is the most ridiculous, corny and unbelievable love story that you can come across. Why would anyone in their right mind want to even be a part of a film like this makes me question their sanity?

Basic premise: Kareena is a typical traditional “Indian girl” whose only aspiration in life is to get married, have children and see her husband off to work everyday. Her only condition a) He shouldn’t smoke b) He shouldn’t drink and c) He should never lie. After a tarot card reader tells her that she will meet her dream man on foreign shores, near a water body, at 7 o’clock in the morning, wearing multi-colored (exactly seven) clothes, Kareena waits for the prophecy to come true.

And believe it or not, as ‘destiny’ would have it and with a little bit of manipulation (from the hero, who falls in love with her the moment he sees her ephemeral sleeping face in the moonlight), she finds her Prince Charming playing the guitar on the seashore precisely at 7 am in the morning, wearing exactly what he is supposed to.

So where’s the conflict in the plot? Shahid, who looks like he hasn’t even grown facial hair yet, smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and doesn’t even blink an eyelid before lying. It doesn’t take too long for then-not-size-zero Bebo to know that her Mr. Right is obviously all wrong but our hero is a changed man by then. She has none of it and in her bid to ‘test’ destiny, she figures out the most bizarre plot-contraptions possible to verify whether they are actually made for each other.

Post interval, we are suddenly fast forwarded to 3 years later, I don’t know if I missed a subtitle that said so but we are somehow informed about the elapsed time. By now, Bebo is engaged to marry this most frightening looking man and Shahid’s very loving father has announced his engagement to Aarti Chhabria without the groom’s consent.

So here we have this implausible situation the lovers have to overcome. They were in love for all of five days, they haven’t as much as seen or heard from each other in three years and they decide to give their love one last chance just a week before they are supposed to marry their respective significant others. (By this time I wanted to actually beg my friend who had accompanied me to the theatre to strangle me to death).

There is nothing more to be said, except that in the three years that had passed, time had stood still and Bebo’s dirty golden tresses hadn’t even faded a shade. Till interval I couldn’t figure out what was Shahid’s name in the film; for some absurd reason he is called Immy.

I can’t recollect one dialogue, one moment from the film that was pleasant. The less said about Himesh Reshammiya’s pre-surgery nasal playback singing and music the better. The director, Satish Kaushik’s cameo and blatant pandering to Muslim viewers’ sentiments (a standard device in movies of the ‘80s) made me cringe.

I will run out of synonyms but I still wouldn’t be able to completely convey how predictable, clichéd and implausible the film is. The least Boney Kapoor could have done for the audience who willfully subjected themselves to the torture of watching this film, was to have a kiosk just outside the theatre that doled out free Disprins.

Share your reviews of ‘Milenge Milenge’ with us. You can connect with me on Twitter too.

You can also read my previous reviews here:

Review: I Hate Luv Storys

Raavan Review: Abhi-Ash Are Insufferable

Raajneeti: The Reluctant Politician

Why Kites Didn’t Soar

Aamir, Big B Tweet talk

All of us who grew up on a heavy dose of Bollywood will die for this one to happen. I know I will for sure. If current trends are to go by, Twitter can perhaps champion this all by itself and stake its claim for getting two of the most talented actors in this era to come together for the first time.

We all know how meticulous Aamir Khan can be when it comes to movie-making. He devours a character during the entire making of a film and undergoes a physical transformation of sorts for that tenure.  And then there is our very own Big B whom I would fondly like to call the first citizen of Bollywood. While Big B and Shah Rukh’s product endorsement blitzkriegs are well-known, our perfectionist a.k.a Aamir Khan is extra cautious even in picking the brands that he endorses. This man really walks the talk. For instance, he uses a Samsung phone, a brand he endorses.

Big B finally convinced Aamir to hop on to Twitter as a means to build a rapport with his fans. After all, it is also the in-thing nowadays. It took a bit of thinking, but Aamir finally got on to the Twitter bandwagon. Understandably, he follows Big B (besides Salman, Imran and Karan Johar) and the tweet exchanges between these two Bollywood icons are always a pleasure read.

A huge fan of both these personalities, I can’t help but imagine a time when they will finally come together for a film, thanks to the bond that is now being cemented by Twitter. As a movie buff I have always envisioned a Shawshank Redemption-like script starring Big B and Aamir. What a delight that would be? The original version had Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins, two powerhouses of acting.

Conversations between the two range from the FIFA World Cup to Rafael Nadal. Aamir’s respect for Big B became evident when he actually took to the latter’s suggestion and joined Twitter. He in fact began tweeting with a classic Urdu line as a mark of respect for Big B. As I see both these icons exchange notes on Twitter, I can’t help but dream of a film with both in it. Twitter is indeed turning out to be one Bollywood bonding tool.

Here are some excerpts from Big B’s and Aamir’s conversations on Twitter –

1. 
   SrBachchan @aamir_khan Brazil-Argentina in a penalty shoot out in the finals !! 01 Jul 2010 from web in reply to aamir_khan
2. 
   aamir_khan @SrBachchan with #Arg winning! 🙂 01 Jul 2010 from Twitter for Android in reply to SrBachchan
3. 
   SrBachhann @aamir_khan Morning ! Told you of the ‘madness’ you would create .. barely 2 days and over 70,000 followers.. that’s immense .. 02 Jul 2010 from web
4. 
   aamir_khan @SrBachhann thanks to you, sir 🙂 02 Jul 2010 from Twitter for Android in reply to SrBachhann
5. 
   SrBachchan T46 -Don’t feel like watching anymore football ! Brazil out ! Unbelievable !! Oh ! heartbreaking .. 02 Jul 2010 from web
6. 
   aamir_khan @SrBachchan Sir, Argentina! 02 Jul 2010 from Twitter for Android in reply to SrBachchan
7. 
   SrBachchan @aamir_khan I do !! After the midnight game !!.. this evening Nadal-Berdych at Wimbledon 04 Jul 2010 from web in reply to aamir_khan
8. 
   aamir_khan @SrBachchan what is your prediction, sir? 04 Jul 2010 from Twitter for Android in reply to SrBachchan
9. 
   SrBachchan @aamir_khan nadal so far .. But in this unpredictable season can’t say anything .. You ..? 04 Jul 2010 from Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to aamir_khan

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Most Handsome Men. Ever.

When there can be a Forbes’ list with the most beautiful women of the century; why, I ask, can’t there be the same for men? We girls, after all, need our eye-candy too. From the top of my head, I can think of heartthrobs like Rajesh Khanna, Robert Redford, Jeff Bridges and Rahul Khanna (top image) who have tugged at my heartstrings through the years.

If you have not seen my post on the World’s most beautiful women (my take!) of the century, please click here.

So, without any further ado, let’s countdown to the some of the most delectable, stop-in-your-tracks-and-shamelessly-ogle at collar-clutchingly handsome men the world (and we in India) have ever known.

Richard Gere

From Pretty Woman, An Officer and a Gentleman, to Runaway Bride, there is just something about this man that makes me wish I was Shilpa Shetty; and pucker up to be dipped and kissed by this man in front of the whole world.

Rajiv and Rahul Gandhi

When the good genes get passed on to you, you can be sure your kids will carry forward your own good looks. Exhibit A: Rajiv Gandhi. He was the only man that kept me interested in Indian politics; and as if he knew that about me, he (and his beautiful wife Sonia Gandhi) brought into the world Rahul Gandhi, ensuring my continued interest in politics.

George Clooney

There is no good-looking-men list in the world that does not include this man, and I didn’t want mine to be the first. The beautiful, beautiful man George Clooney is known to be a chronically single-man, the man with a pet pig, and what not.

After a long string of affairs with women from various fields, including waitresses and reality TV contestants, methinks we still have hope, no?

Milind Soman

Aah, who can forget Alisha Chinai’s Made In India music video and her quest for the perfect man, which of course ends in Milind Soman in a box? (Sigh, who would *not* want Milind Soman in a box?) I am not even going to mention that controversial nude ad with his then girlfriend Madhu Sapre (Oops, just did!) or his role in the first English tele-serial, A Mouthful of Sky. Isn’t the visual just enough?

A personal story: While working on a story on Milind Soman during the Fashion Week in Mumbai a couple of years ago, my producer wanted to take the interview instead, because she told me she was a huge fan. I didn’t mind, after all, I would be getting a breather from the hectic schedule.

She went to speak to him, but as she saw him walking towards her, she upped and RAN in the opposite direction! Later she told me, ‘I didn’t know what came over me. I was too overwhelmed to even see him.’ The former supermodel was a little surprised at first, but I think he has got that kind of response from fans before; so he just laughed it off.

Dharmendra / Abhay Deol

While we are on the topic of getting your genes passed on to you, it is possible that your family’s good genes land, not on your own offspring, but a sibling’s. Exhibit A: Dharmendra and Abhay Deol. This nephew has inherited the sigh-worthy good looks of his uncle. While Sunny and Bobby Deol (Dharmendra’s own sons) are not ugly, so to speak, Abhay is just drool-worthy. If you don’t believe me, watch Dev D. Shudders!

Arjun Rampal

The ex-supermodel, married to another ex-supermodel, with possible supermodel kids, is none other than Arjun Rampal. Much has been said about his acting skills; how his eyes don’t emote one bit, or how his dialogue delivery and facial movement are not synchronous. But, but, just look at this man. His chiseled good looks, his dimple and killer smile. Does anyone care if he can’t act?

Disclaimer – If you think he can’t act, watch Rock On. I think he acts beautifully in it.

Jude Law

… and while you thought, it couldn’t get better than Rampal, it does gets better. Jude Law is the ultimate ladies’ man and the fodder for shutterbugs and paparazzi in his on and off relationship with Sienna Miller; you would think the guy’s not worth it.

But wait, hold on, have you watched The Holiday (in my list of 5 Movies a Girl Must Watch)? It will give you a whole new facet to this actor. Who cares about what he is in real life, right?

Paul Newman

My fascination for older men continues with Paul Newman. One look at those eyes and you know what I am talking about when I say, drown in ’em.

Suriya

Now, forgive me, but I am no big fan of South Indian cinema. It’s probably because I have not watched much of it. But when I saw this hunk-a-ton in the Save Tigers ad on TV, I was in love. Suriya is by far one of the most handsome men in India ever; too bad he got married recently.

Josh Holloway

All you Lost fans might just salivate seeing this. Sawyer, as he is fondly known, has become a household name. The hottie from Georgia is known to be a very private family man. Makes you want him more, no?

You might also watch to catch, The Hottest Male Movie Stars Ever, Shine @ Yahoo’s offering of drool-worthy men in cinema over the years.

I am all ears to get more inputs from my readers. Go ahead, daydream, fantasise (if you must!) and think of that one (or many) man who makes your heart go aflutter like nobody’s business. And tell me why you like him (them). Also tell me, which of these hotties do you think is handsomest. I am waiting for your comments.

Catch my earlier posts on:

• Recap: Top 10 Songs of 2010
• Beautiful Women of the Century
• Biggest Celebrity Splits of 2010
• 10 Favourite Movie Lines

Bollywood Romances Reel and Real

We list out Bollywood’s top pairs of 2010 – some created box office magic while others will probably never be seen together. From Shahid-Priyanka’s onscreen and off-screen romance, to Ranbir-Katrina, whose rumoured romance might have been the reason for their real life romances going kaput, to Farhan-Deepika’s pairing in ‘Karthik Calling Karthik’ and all the way to SRK-Kajol’s grand comeback together to the big screen, we have it all, right here for you. Read on as we celebrate tinsel town’s most talked about pairs.

Shahrukh Khan-Kajol

Kajol and Shahrukh Khan’s ‘My Name is Khan’ was the most awaited release of the year. The duo starred opposite each other after almost eight years and fans were eagerly hoping they would recreate the magic of their previous hits. It was a treat watching them onscreen together. After Kajol’s long sabbatical post marriage and child, the audience was waiting to see them make a comeback soon. And everyone was surprised when she turned down ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ and decided to do ‘Fanaa’ with Aamir Khan instead. The most celebrated pair since Amitabh-Rekha, this pair comes second only because of the 8-year-old gap since ‘Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham’.

Ranbir-Katrina

Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif looked great together in ‘Rajneeti’ after their first successful outing in ‘Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani’. While rumours of on and off-screen romance abounded, Deepika and Ranbir called it quits and there was visible strain between Katrina and Salman during promotions and film parties. Whether this ‘work romance’ was just a publicity gimmick or not, there’s no discounting the great chemistry these two have onscreen.

Hrithik-Barbara

Their debut film might have bombed at the box office in India but the good-looking pair set the screen on fire in ‘Kites’. Everyone was talking about Hrithik Roshan and Barbara Mori’s amazing chemistry. While men fell for the svelte Barbara and a friend of mine couldn’t stop gushing about her lip movements, women swooned over Bollywood Greek god Hrithik Roshan. Rumour mills were abuzz, talking about the sparks in real life too. But little was heard of the off-screen romance after Sussanne and Barbara started happily chatting up on Twitter.

Imran-Sonam

Imran and Sonam were the most anticipated fresh new pair, cast as the main leads in ‘I Hate Luv Storys’. Sonam brought the vivacity of Juhi Chawla back to the big screen and made her presence felt in Bollywood. We haven’t seen much of Imran since his sensational debut in ‘Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na’. A lot was riding on this film but their first outing together failed to set the screen on fire. Their chemistry was thanda and the acting wasn’t up to the mark. So here’s hoping that there pairing isn’t written off just yet.

Farhan–Deepika

In what was the most unlikely pairing of the year, Deepika Padukone and Farhan Akhtar were one of the most talked about couples in Vijay Lalwani’s ‘Karthik Calling Karthik’. While the film didn’t do too well, their performance won over the hearts of fans with their easy rapport and great chemistry. Farhan’s complex character got the critics votes and Deepika charmed the audience in her role as the conflicted girlfriend. We hope to see them onscreen again soon.

Akshay-Deepika

Akshay Kumar and Deepika Padukone were again seen together in Sajid Khan’s ‘Housefull’ and this time the comedy worked at the box office. Their previous release ‘Chandni Chowk to China’ didn’t do too well.  Though Akshay’s simpleton act did not go down well with the audience, Indian or international, the film got noticed for Deepika’s winsome smile and the stunts that were hugely inspired by Jackie Chan films and Lucy Liu in ‘Kill Bill 2’.

Saif-Kareena

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor sizzled in the promos of ‘Kurbaan’ but the film proved to be an out-and-out dud. The real-life couple was starring opposite each other for the first time since they got together. Saif and Kareena have rubbished gossip about any impending nuptials in the near future and have said that they are happy to be in love and would like to focus on their individual careers. Despite their first two films together, ‘Tashan’ and ‘Kurbaan’, bombing, here’s hoping that they will be third time lucky in ‘Agent Vinod’.

Shahid-Priyanka

Shahid Kapur and Priyanka Chopra ruled as the #1 onscreen pair of 2009. While their performances in Vishal Bhardwaj’s ‘Kaminey’ received rave reviews, rumour mills were abuzz with stories about their ‘real-life’ chemistry. Bollywood grapevine has it that love blossomed during the shoot when Shahid ‘saved’ Priyanka when they both slipped and fell from a scooter. The couple was soon spotted together. Since both had just come out of relationships, B-town’s eyes were all on them. But even before they could officially announce that they were a couple, buzz is that Priyanka and Shahid have called it quits. We wish they would patch things up if only to witness their undeniably magical chemistry onscreen once more.

Which are your favourite Bollywood pairs? Share your list with us. You can also connect with me on Twitter.

Love thy Love Child

Legend has it that on the sets of Bobby, where a chubby Rishi Kapoor fell head over heels in love with Dimple, complete with baby fat and big, brown eyes, Raj Kapoor drew him aside and asked him “Tum apni behen se shaadi karna chahta hain?!” Paraphrasing, of course, but this remains the conspiracy theory to beat all conspiracy theories in Bollywood.

Dimple is said to be Raj Kapoor and Nargis’s love child, though this remains just a rumour – unproven but hugely debated even now. As news of Cristiano Ronaldo’s love child came pouring in, I got thinking of the many love children we’ve seen over the years. You think *that* was why he ould hardly net one in this World Cup? Hmm.

Jazz singer Norah Jones, née Geethali Norah Jones Shankar, daughter of sitar maestro Pandit Ravi Shankar and dancer Sue Jones, came into the limelight with the release of her hugely successful debut album, Come Away With Me. The world which till then thought Anoushka Shankar was the maestro’s only daughter sat up and took notice. There were reports of some unsorted issues between Norah and her father, but all died a quiet death. Step sibling Sister Anoushka Shankar, a gifted sitarist in her own right, came out with an album “Breathing Under Water” featuring Norah, putting all rumours of familial strife to rest. The sisters have matching tattoos on their lower backs.

Hema Malini, noted Bollywood actress, has two children with the much-married Dharmendra and has gone on record to say that theirs is a ‘marriage’ for all intents and purposes, and he is a devoted father to their two daughters, Esha and Ahana Deol. Ironically, in a ‘full circle’ of sorts, Sunny Deol, Dharmendra’s son from his marriage, is rumoured to be in a relationship with Dimple Kapadia – he’s married with two children, she’s divorced from yesteryear actor Rajesh Khanna.

Aamir Khan, Bollywood’s blue-eyed boy who can do no wrong, reportedly fathered a love-child with British writer, Jessica Hines. He’s refuted all allegations and there has been no paternity test, but Jessica’s son Jaan looks uncannily like him – take a look and judge for yourself.

West Indies cricketer, the very flamboyant Viv Richards, was in a short-lived relationship with Neena Gupta in the eighties – they have one daughter, Masaba Richards, a fashion designer. Neena Gupta, now married, has brought her daughter up as a single mother for the most part.

Mel Gibson recently ended his 30-year-old marriage with ex-wife Robyn to solemnize his relationship with Ukranian singer Oksana Grigorieva, after he fathered a child with her out-of-wedlock. But recent reports say this union is on the rocks too, with Oksana alleging spousal abuse and taking out a restraining order against him.

Serial wild oats sower, the devastatingly handsome Jude Law, was again in the news last year for, you guessed it, sowing his wild oats away from home. His on-again-off-again relationship with Sienna Miller seems to be on again for the nth time now, but outside of 3 children from his marriage to British actress Sadie Frost, he now has a love child, Sophia,  with model/actress Samantha Burke.

Do you know of other love children? What do you think of this trend of celebs ‘cocking a snook’ at the institution of marriage? Would love to hear your thoughts.

My previous posts:

• The Walrus in a Grey Suit
• How Old is Too Old (to have a child)?
• Mani Ratnam’s Trial by Fire (Is Raavan Mani Ratnam’s Aag)?

FTP Recap 4 – The Week That Was

It seemed like we just welcomed 2010 – at Yahoo! We did so by reviewing the best of the last year – Events, Newsmakers, Corporate & Sports Moments and not to forget the many iPods giveaways to users who’d tweeted their favourite moments of 2009.

In no time, we’re already half-way through this year and anticipation for the months ahead has received a head-start with Piyali’s post on the movies to watch this July. Among those, is the flick ‘Inception’ by Christopher Nolan of ‘The Dark Night’ fame, which could go on replicate the achievements of ‘Avatar’.

The week’s blog mainstay however was the half-year reviews and the buzz on campus. We took a look at the best colleges to study in India along with hot wheels and tech toys for the campus. In addition to these, there were more youth-centric posts like the Youth for change, Our everyday heroes and It’s our turn to flash. These posts look at a young India, whose potential is immense and whose youth are gearing to take up various causes.

On the recap front, we had it all. In cricket we’ve had an eventful 6 months of both ecstasy and despair – from Tendulkar scoring the first-ever double century in ODIs to the Modigate towards the fag end of the IPL. The other recaps included judgments of 2010, top gadgets, best songs and even the biggest celeb breakups of 2010. We also took a look at hits and misses of not just Bollywood but also of the UPA government during the last 6 months. Another post where we go down memory lane is Infosys @30.

The week was also a favourite for sports enthusiasts, with the Soccer World Cup reaching its penultimate week and Wimbledon its final lap. Coming to soccer, we had game previews, player posts and even getting David Beckham to answer your questions. With his team still recovering from a massive refereeing blunder, Prem makes the case for the use of technology in soccer with To Err is Human, to Stonewall is FIFA.

Princy on the other hand probes deeper into individual sportspersons, and wonders if early success in sports is a curse. She also defends Ronaldo after he failed to ‘write his future’ at the World Cup. On the Wimbledon front, Ganesh takes a look at Federer’s early exit at the tournament, his worst since 2002, and asks if this is the end of the Federer era.

Back to Bollywood, Rummana reviewed the new Imran-Sonam Kapoor starrer I Hate Luv Storys, calling it a ‘very predictable love story full of clichés’. However, the audience response to movies can be unpredictable at times and there lies the success or failure of a film. Rummana also looks at the bigger picture, probing why Indians, especially NRIs, love Bollywood.

The last week also saw several individuals making news, some posts raising serious questions, others being heartfelt tributes. From a look at the ever-elusive Suchitra Sen to the tug-of-war over George Fernandes’ political legacy, to an understanding of the model-world in the wake of Viveka Babajee’s death. The week’s tributes had Maya’s post on the music legend Jim Morrison, while Khristina remembers Lady Diana on her birthday.

Now to cheer you up we have Padma’s post, where she continues with her series on funny signboards (Warning: You may need to go to the ‘Psycho Clinic’ after this). Giving this post company is her comic gang, one that includes Suppandi, Shikari Shambu and even Chacha Chaudhary. Anirban on the other hand, finds some ads on TV not-so-fun and wants your take on it.

The week also saw some offbeat posts like the one that compares wax statues with the features of the original, and a woman in India who at the age of 66 gave birth to triplets. Quirky one-liners are interesting too, but trying to be cheeky can have its repercussions like the dangerous foot-in-mouth syndrome.

Currently however the media focus is on M S Dhoni and Sakshi Rawat (Not Rakhi Sawant!). It’s still a wonder how the Indian captain kept his childhood sweetheart a secret for so long, even from those who prided themselves of knowing the Indian captain well. Till we get you his wedding snaps, take a look some spectacular sunset pictures and black & white photography by our in-house shutterbug.

Previous Recaps:

• Recap Week 1
• Recap Week 2
• Recap Week 3

Mani Ratnam's Trial by Fire

The verdict is out – Raavan could well be the proverbial bad egg in Mani Ratnam’s basket. Even if that line is the bad egg in my basket of prose, and doesn’t make any sense to you, you get my point.

And if you thought RGV’s Aag was his nadir, try this – Raavan is being referred to as Mani Ratnam’s Aag by RGV himself.

To make an unwatchable film is something. But to be compared to something that was such a colossal disaster at the box office (by RGV’s own admission, his Aag just was an itch he just had to scratch) is not something you, as a celebrated filmmaker, would be proud to have  in your oeuvre, considering you started out making movies that appealed to the so-called intelligentsia and not ‘make a quick buck and play to the gallery’ ones like most of our dear filmmakers are wont to indulge in.

But before you take your anger out on me, here is what some bloggers who know their cinema have to say:

Jai Arjun (whose monograph on Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron I eagerly await) is not impressed by snarling Abhishek with oodles of black/brown/yellow goo on his face:

But come face to face with the person himself and this is what you get: Bachchan throwing his facial muscles out of gear by curling his lips and snarling as fiercely as he can (which is not very fiercely), or making grunting noises that suggest he has a truckload of phlegm stuck in his throat, or shaking his head wildly and mumbling “Chika Chika Chika” (yes, like in that song in Race) or “Bak Bak Bak” while the camera jump-cuts all over the place. This last gesture is presumably meant to convey Beera’s tortured state of mind, but in the scenes where he glares and babbles at the captive Ragini (Aishwarya Rai), the impression I got was of a 10-year-old boy trying really, really hard to be psychotic… while his slightly bored girlfriend watches from the sidelines, trying really, really hard to be impressed.

Baradwaj Rangan of Indian Express discusses the symbolic parallels between Ramayan and the movie’s script and arrives at this conclusion:

Raavan, too, has its share of parallels with its source material – an exile based on the number fourteen, the villain’s sister being hauled up by the nose, a bridge connecting protagonist and antagonist, the lovable sidekick-monkey (cheerfully played by Govinda, and named Sanjeevini Kumar) who even rattles off couplets styled like the Chaleesa. And once again, Ram (a scowling Vikram, who doubtless had more opportunity to flex his acting chops in the Tamil version, as Raavanan) casts unjustified and uncharitable doubt on Sita-Ragini’s chastity, when she’s attired in virgin-white, no less.

If there’s a movie that Mani Ratnam could have gone mumblecore with, it’s this one, a psychologically driven art film dressed up as glitzy, plot-motivated commercial cinema, with fussed-over Sabyasachi costumes on a heroine who’s never allowed to look anything less than breathtaking. Even her bruises are beautiful. It takes real effort to pull your eyes away from the sparkling surface and peer deep into the narrative, which reimagines the Ramayana in an intriguingly idiosyncratic fashion.

Ideasmithy is not very kind in her review of Raavanan, either. She says it was a dirty trick to lure the audience with the promise of retelling an old story from a much maligned villain’s point of view. She thinks it’s better to read an old edition of the Ramayan in Amar Chitra Katha format, instead.

And my favourite reviewer of all time, Sahil Rizwan, who is living, breathing proof that a picture is worth a thousand words, nails it with his stick figure review of ‘Raavan’ on The Vigil Idiot. Please read through to the very end – the last ‘Sholay Reunion’ panel is worth a thousand Picassos!

Do you think Raavan/Raavanan was the worst offering from Madras Talkies? Vote on the poll below:

Related Posts on FTP:

• To Raavan or to Raavanan
• Raavan – Y! Meta Review
• Raavan Review
• Raavanan Review
• The 100 Crore Lemons

The 100 Crore Lemons

The janta review of Kites and Raavan was swift and cruel. F-L-O-P. Flop. That’s real bad news for the common producer of both films – Reliance Big Pictures. Sources say the company has lost upwards of Rs 100 crore on these films. By its current scale of performance, Raavan looks to sink lower than the other mega-budget dud – Kites.

Both films had extensive pre-launch promotions. Alas – promotions ensure that a film has a good opening over the weekend. That’s it. After that, it is the content of the film itself which will make it swim or sink.  Beating poor reviews and word-of-mouth ratings, Kites managed a good opening weekend, netting in Rs 30 crore.

Raavan has collected less than Rs 20 crore at the close of its opening weekend. This week onwards, Raavan has a clear run with no competing releases. Yet, analysts predict it will sink further.  Nothing can salvage Raavan with its below average opening of 50% across the country.

Kites and Raavan were expected to follow Raajneeti’s rocking show at the box office.  Instead, the films have become Bollywood ki Aag. That’s something, even by Bollywood standards of expecting the most unexpected.

Was it the actors?  Raavan is Abhishek Bacchan’s third film with Mani Ratnam. After Yuva and Guru, expectations were sky-high from Abhishek Bachchan. (We tend to dismiss Delhi 6). What the janta saw was largely dismissed as hamming and posturing, amateurish and naive.  Questions raised on faking the much-vaunted dive didn’t help.

Hrithik was appreciated in Kites for his good looks (which the camera made love to, framing him in tight close-ups and bare torso scenes). Jai faltered, Hrithik didn’t.

Scintillating Barbara Mori looked pretty in Kites. So does Aishwarya in Raavan. Luminous, floating around in the forest, long curly drenched hairpiece and carefully crafted no make up look.  So we’ve heard of the chemistry between the stand-in Sita and the shrieking baddie. We think back to the mock fight when the same pair landed on a bed in Guru and phuuuuuus- zilch. Aishwarya, I suspect, still looks hottest with Hrithik.  Hrithik and Barbara’s crackling chemistry and smouldering looks kept Kites ticking.

Both films are richly crafted and produced – sweeping shots, stunning locales, jungles, waterfalls, but where is the story? So Kites was painful and downright silly in the second half. With Raavan and its confusing plot (Beera is Raavan, Robin Hood or Veerappan), why does Vikram wear aviator glasses in the jungle (he’s a cop, they cost a lot, no?) and run slo-mo, etc, etc. The plot rests mostly in Mani Ratnam’s head.

To sum up, here’s what I am saying other filmmakers should avoid like the plague:

• Avoid bumbling actors who ham for the camera
• If your film is titled Raavan, don’t hope that Sita will see it through
• Get a lead pair who look hot together
• Let the story out of the director’s head and out there for the audience
• Acknowledge the use of stuntmen/women
• Don’t get Ma and Pa to defend your film
• Think of a strategy to counter word-of-mouth ratings and reviews
• Don’t let others in Bollywood poke fun at your expense and ask RGV and KJo to take their tweet battles offline

Read my colleague Rummana’s review of Raavan here. ‘Abhi-Ash are insufferable’, she says. And here’s the trailer.

Now vote here and tell me what you think is the reason for Raavan’s no-show: